Comparing to the education system in most European countries, you may think it is not a good atmosphere for kids to study, but that is how I grew up. As I grew up in such atmosphere, I did not know there are other kinds of education system that do not have grades in primary school before. After I knew that and I heard some people believe that it is not good for children to receive grades so early, I started to compare them in my mind. However, by my personal study experience under such atmosphere, I think grading earlier helped me to learn better. Therefore, I am going to argue for the grading of children in primary school. I can imagine how the atmosphere is in primary schools without grades. Pupils can learn without pressure and enjoy their study lives. As a student, I would prefer it rather than receiving grades from my academic performance. The main reason is not that it is too young for us to sustain pressure but it is because we are lazy and we do not like to revise. However, you know these hidden reasons are not proper. Government should not fulfill these children’s demand as you would not cancel the homework system just because children hate to do homework. I think they are just similar. To comment it objectively, I think it is better for primary school kids to receive grades.
Without giving grades to children, they will probably study happily but also passively. I was also a pupil in primary school long time ago, so I understand how they think. If I have nothing to care about my study and at the same time I can choose to play, I would just leave my study after class and enjoy playing all the time. I will not spend time on doing homework or revising textbooks. Therefore, I think they will not take homework seriously and will not pay attention to what they learn. The reason why the result will be different from what government think is that children are too young and not so sensible. For little kids, they are not mature enough to determine their act, thus they will simply choose what favour them, but sadly it is not study.
On the contrary, children may be under pressure with their grades, but I think the pressure can be counted as an impulse or a motive force to encourage them to study harder.
Someone will think competition and comparison among children are not healthy, but I can tell from my experience that these can really encourage them to pay more effort to learn and revise. After all, we can actually gain from them. It is just like a writing competition with prize and one without prize, children will probably perform better in the one with prize because they need some encouragement. But they can hardly get any encouragement if they do not receive any grade from their academic performance.In conclusion, I think there are far more advantages than disadvantages to give grades to children in primary school. Maybe children will not like this policy as I mentioned above, but they will surely gain from it. They will know it later when they grow up like me. To let children to learn better, faster and more efficiently, I definitely support to give grades to children in primary school.
Content and structure:
ReplyDeleteYou take a balanced approach and give well-founded reasons for your views. The introduction ends in a clear thesis statement and the conclusion links back to the introduction and doesn't leave any loose ends.
On the downside, I felt that paragraphs 2 and 3 were very similar - perhaps too much so?
Language:
Generally good but with some awkward turns of phrase. Sometimes you miss out prepositions, and sometimes you use the wrong verb forms. You also miss the occasional indefinite article and you use comma splices, which should be avoided at all times in academic writing. We're going to talk about comma splices in class today.
Well done!
/Teacher
I have enjoyed reading your text and think that the assignment is well done. It was especially interesting to get to know the point of view from a different culture compared to mine which is very helpful. Of course, I try to give you some deeper hints.
ReplyDeleteStructure:
Your text is well structured and you made no formal mistakes. In the introduction you give a very clear thesis statement and relate to this in every paragraph which is fine.
Content:
It is very interesting to read about grading in Hong Kong. Related to this aspect, I think it is very helpful that you have tried to compare it do the different system we have in Europe. Related to the topic of grades I have the nearly the same opinion as you and I have to say that your text has convinced me even more to have this point of view. In effect this means that you argue well and convincing and offer a deep view into the topic, although I feel that you sometimes could enlarge the cons for grading as detailed as you have done it for the cons.
Language:
I can’t find obvious mistakes. I think you have a high level of English and make a good use ot transitions in your text. However, I think that there were some mistakes concerning punctuation and word order. But I have only some suggestions to make:
- Paragraph1: “You can imagine that comparison among them will be made by their teachers and parents” à you should add “a” or “the” in front of comparison
I did not know there are other kinds of educational (instead of education) system
- you often use pupil (in school), think about saying scholar sometimes
- Paragraph4: “On the contrary, children may be under pressure with their grades, but I think the pressure can be counted as an impulse or a motive WHICH forceS to encourage them to study harder”
Kind regards,
Henrik